Save My Soul (A Paranormal Romance: Preternaturals Book 2) Page 23

  Her knees were pulled up to her chest, her arms wrapped tightly around them. “There’s no way to stop it. It’s going to burn, and I’m going to go with it.”

  Luc pried her arms away from her body, and settled her on his lap. He brushed her hair away from her face. “I know. But you don’t have to die, like that.”

  Anna’s eyes widened as his meaning sank in. She was trapped in a burning house with an incubus. Of course she didn’t have to die like that, but it was hard to think straight in all the panic. Being trapped in a burning house was one of her greatest fears. Living that fear didn’t make for great emergency planning.

  “You’d do that for me, after . . . the others?” She knew it had to be hard for him, to willingly and voluntarily kill someone when he’d vowed to never do it again. It was only a reminder of what he was and who he’d been.

  “Of course.” He wiped a tear from her face. “If you have to die, you’ll die in my arms and not in pain.”

  “Bit full of ourselves, aren’t we?” she snarked.

  He smiled a sad smile. “You know I’ll get the job done.” He was getting choked up himself.

  “I don’t want to,” she said.

  “For God’s sake, Anna! Now is not the time for you to be getting common sense where I’m concerned.”

  “I don’t want to leave you.” If anything, the events of the last few hours had crystallized the decision she’d been hedging on. She didn’t want to leave him, ever.

  “You don’t have a choice.”

  “Yes, I do.”

  Luc cupped her face, turning her toward him. “So help me, Anna. If you are playing with me . . . ”

  “I want to do the ritual. I want to give you my soul and stay with you. I can still do it, right?”

  He jumped up, sending her toppling, and went for the door.

  “Where are you going?” she asked, her voice rising in panic. This wasn’t the time for him to get cold feet about eternity.

  “We need a knife. I’ll be right back.”

  She cringed when he returned a few minutes later with a sharp-looking kitchen knife. There was always blood.

  “The sharper it is, the less it’ll hurt.”

  “Okay.”

  Ordinarily, he wouldn’t have to kill her right away. But with the fire coming closer, there wasn’t time for a long engagement.

  Luc laid her gently on the floor. She was still wearing her bathrobe, the belt tied around her.

  “I hate this. I hate the ritual is so specific. There’s no sense in scaring you more,” he said.

  “It’s okay, I read about it. I’m not scared of you.” She laid her arms out over her head, the backs of her hands resting on the floor.

  He straddled her and cut a thin line down the center of each of his hands as well as hers, then clasped their hands together. “Anna, close your eyes.”

  “Why?”

  “Just do it.”

  “Not before you tell me why.”

  “I have to change forms completely. The transfer can’t happen in human form, and I don’t want you to see.”

  “Oh my God, Luc! I’m fucking giving you my soul. I should be able to see what I’m giving it to. And don’t go invisible for it, or it’s no deal.”

  “Anna . . . ”

  She stubbornly shook her head. He sighed, a look of resignation on his face; then he shifted. Anna couldn’t help struggling to get away. But he held her still, and she instinctively understood it was to keep from breaking the magic that had started flowing between them.

  Nothing could have prepared her for his demon form. It wasn’t so much the way he looked; since the dreams, she wasn’t shocked by the reddish brown skin and scales. His hugeness, and the horns popping out of his shoulders weren’t that horrifying either, as scary things went. He had sharp teeth, and in the demon form, his eyes glowed red like two burning embers.

  But it wasn’t any of that. It was the palpable, suffocating feeling of evil, fear, hatred, anger, and betrayal swirling all around her, pushing in on her senses. She felt undiluted, pure bad. She’d never felt emotions in such a strong and solid way. But she could feel them now so intensely she could almost smell them. Each negative emotion and feeling swept over her and through her. The last being her own terror.

  “Anna, it’s just the form.” His voice came out a harsh growl, so different from the seductive purr of the voice she was used to.

  She knew now without any doubt why the soul ritual was so rare. If anyone actually got to the point of agreement . . . if they saw or felt what she saw and felt, they’d believe they’d been tricked and turn back, knowing they couldn’t save their life, but at least they could save their soul.

  “If you want to back out now, I won’t hold it against you.”

  His thumb stroked gently over one of her hands, a contrast to everything else she saw and felt. She looked into his eyes, and she could see him. Somehow underneath the terrifying form looming above her, there was Luc, the man she loved. The one who’d protected her and been patient through everything.

  Cain had told her there was no redemption for anyone. He was very wrong about that. The form and the ritual were meant to scare people away so Luc would always be punished. Anna believed he’d been punished enough. She was no longer concerned about her own soul, only Luc’s. Though it was no longer human, it was still there, and it had been tormented enough for one eternity.

  “No, I’m doing it.”

  He spoke the words of the ritual over her in a language she didn’t know that felt older than time. When he was finished he waited, expectantly, for her acceptance or rejection.

  “Yes, I’ll give you my soul.”

  The simple language seemed so lacking, but the magic required nothing more elaborate. It swirled around her as the connection that had once been between them wrapped even more tightly into a bond that could never be broken by anyone’s magic: human, demon, or god.

  He shifted back to his human form. “I love you,” he said. He collapsed on top of her, nuzzling her neck. She felt the warm wetness of tears against her skin and realized he hadn’t believed she’d do it after seeing him.

  “I love you, too.” She squirmed under him. “Luc, as touching as this moment is, don’t you think we should finish? The fire is getting closer.”

  He lifted off her and smirked. “You’re getting it for eternity, and you can’t wait two minutes to let me bask in the fact that I have you forever?”

  “Nope,” she said grinning up at him.

  “Fine,” he snarled. But there was no anger. He stripped his jeans off and fiddled with the belt on her robe. He finally got frustrated with the knot and ripped it off her.

  There was no foreplay or teasing; there wasn’t time. And Anna didn’t need any preparation. She’d waited three maddening days for him to be inside her again. He was gentle and sweet, cradling her body against his own as he thrust slowly into her. He whispered endearments into her skin as if to apologize for what she’d just been through, to reassure her she was with the real Luc, and the other had been only a passing illusion. What he was, but not who he was.

  Not anymore.

  The warm, tingling sensation started along her body then. She had a moment’s panic, knowing he wouldn’t stop this time, that he would feed until there was nothing left. But then her orgasm came cresting over her, and she relaxed again.

  As the last of her life slipped away, her soul was ripped from Luc’s arms. She floated behind him. Then she was huddled in the corner, sobbing, rocking back and forth as well as one can in a nonphysical form.

  The memories of her previous lives flooded through her, but it was the most recent incarnation that had her crying uncontrollably. Luc was still turned away from her. The muscles in his back tensed, and she knew he knew. Somehow when her soul had been ripped from her body and gone through him, he must have gotten a flash of her memories, and he knew.

  He rounded on her, snarling, his eyes glowing that eerie red again. “Beatrice!
” he roared at her.

  Anna couldn’t stop crying as she looked up into his eyes. “Don’t call me that! I’m not her anymore.”

  He stalked over, menace pouring off him. This was what she’d been afraid of all along. She just hadn’t known it. The truth had been buried too deep in her subconscious.

  This was why she couldn’t give him her soul, why she’d fought him and burning down the house every step of the way, why she’d been afraid of witches. Some part of her had to have known. She kept repeating to herself, he can’t hurt me, he can’t hurt me. How could one physically hurt a ghost?

  But then he gripped her shoulders hard, and she had solid form again. He laughed the kind of laugh she never wanted to hear from him as he watched her realize he could make her physical.

  “Oh yes, Anna. How do you think I’d be able to feed from you for eternity if I couldn’t give you form?”

  “Please, Luc, I’m sorry. I didn’t know I was her. I swear.”

  He growled again but stepped back, trying to reign in his anger. “Why? Why did you do it?”

  Anna looked miserably down at her hands. He’d let go of her, and she was once again in ghostly form. She just wanted him to touch her again, even if in anger. So she could feel real.

  “Where do you want me to start?”

  He scrubbed a hand through his hair, pacing and backing away from her even farther, as if he feared he might strike her if he didn’t put enough distance between them.

  “I can understand parts of it. What I don’t understand is . . . knowing what I was, why did you put a spell on me to make me love you?”

  “I didn’t.”

  His eyes glowed brighter. “Anna, do not lie to me.”

  “I’m not. I did a spell, but not that.”

  “Tell me.”

  She took a deep, steadying breath that suddenly she didn’t need, but that felt comforting all the same. “When I met you, the first time, as Beatrice . . . I didn’t know what you were. If I was any kind of decent witch I would have known, but I didn’t. It wasn’t until we were in bed together and I felt you feeding from me that something clicked in my mind, and I knew what you were.

  “I realized you were going to kill me. I was scared. I didn’t want to die. I whispered the only spell I could think of into your ear. I was always good with incantations. I just wanted to unlock your humanity so you’d feel enough compassion to spare me. I just wanted to live.” She looked up at him, begging him to understand.

  The glow faded from his eyes, replaced with guilt. “Go on,” he said, his voice more controlled, much of the anger seeming to dissipate.

  “Then you kept coming back to me. And I could never resist you. Before I knew what had happened I was in love with you. Months passed, and I couldn’t handle it anymore, you being with others. I wanted to be with you, but I didn’t know if my spell would hold. I was afraid that as soon as I gave you my soul, you’d revert to what you were, I’d be tied to you forever, and you’d never stop punishing me for making you feel human. I was so angry, at you, at myself . . . I don’t know. I knew I’d never have the strength to leave you, and I couldn’t stand watching you walk away from me.”

  Moments later, Luc was holding her. “How could you make me kill you? You selfish little . . . ”

  “I’m sorry. I know it was wrong. I was only thinking of myself. I didn’t think about what would happen to you after I was gone. What are you going to do now?” She tensed in his arms. She was tied to him forever now, and she didn’t know if she could forgive herself, let alone if Luc could forgive her.

  He pulled back, his expression softening before he sighed. “I expected you to either forgive or forget all the awful things I’d done in my past. To hold one mistake against you, no matter how bad . . . ”

  “I don’t deserve forgiveness.”

  “Does anyone? Why did you do the last part of the spell, the part about the house?”

  “I wanted a fail-safe, so I wouldn’t back out. I couldn’t leave you, and I’d decided I’d die in your arms and then go to Heaven and forget about you. But I couldn’t.” She was crying so hard she could barely get the words out. He held her hand as she continued.

  “Cain told me everything is a loop and you never break free. But I could have stayed there if I’d wanted to. If I’d been content to be without you, but I wasn’t. They let me come back. They could have sent me to Bangladesh, but they sent me back here. Some part of me always knew. I had to. But the memories were all locked away, and I couldn’t get to them. I’m so sorry. I said I loved you, and then I just left you in the house to rot.”

  Of all the things she’d done, all the stupid mistakes, leaving him there was her worst. She should have burnt the house down first, so he’d at least have been free once she was gone. She didn’t know how he could look at her with anything but loathing. Yet all she could find in his eyes was calm acceptance.

  “Why?” she said finally. “How can you forgive me?”

  He held her hard against him as if she might disappear. “How can I not? I’m not saying I’m happy about the way it happened, but you’ve freed me.”

  He didn’t have to tell her he wasn’t talking about the house. She’d freed him from the hunt, the hunger, the loneliness.

  “And I loved you so much,” he said. “It killed me to lose you. No matter how mad I am at you, I can’t help but be grateful you’re back, and I’ll never lose you again.”

  She pulled back and smacked him on the arm. “Hey! You love her more than me!”

  Luc laughed. “You are so infuriating, Anna. I’ve loved two women and both of them are you. I don’t love one incarnation more than the other.”

  “Luc . . . ”

  He looked up to see the smoke seeping under the door. “Right.” He took her hand and led her down into the wine cellar to wait while the house finished burning.

  ***

  Luc let go of Anna’s hand for the couple of hours it took so she wouldn’t get smoke fumes. Despite his reassurances, some part of her had feared he’d hold her into the flames and let her burn to punish her for what she’d done. She wouldn’t have blamed him.

  Had their positions been reversed she couldn’t say with certainty she wouldn’t have done the same. He’d forgiven her much more easily than she would forgive herself.

  Once the fire died away, he made love to her again. It wasn’t about the feeding. It was comfort, reassurance that nothing had changed about the way he felt. He still loved her. They’d be okay.

  They were about to go up to the surface. “Luc . . . I don’t think this is proper attire.” All their clothes had burned away in the library.

  He arched a brow as if it was incredibly stupid for her to think he’d let her go cavorting on the surface naked. The possessiveness in his eyes said he was the only one that would ever be looking again. As he held her hand in his, he went invisible, and she found she did as well.

  “Nifty,” she said, but she was disturbed by the fact that she was, in some sense, not there anymore.

  “You’ll get used to it. You’ll get a lot of my shapeshifting powers over time. The longer we’re together and the more I feed from you. It’ll make you stronger now that you aren’t tied to a human body. You can’t do any of it by yourself just yet, though. It might take a couple of decades before you can hold a solid form without me touching you.”

  “A couple of decades!” she said turning to where Luc should be. “Luc, materialize when I’m talking to you!”

  He did as she asked, shaking his head and laughing. “You get upset over the weirdest things. You just gave your immortal soul to a demon, and you’re upset I’m invisible while you’re talking to me? Eternity with you is going to be fun.”

  “Shut up.” She punched him in the arm, but there was no malice behind it.

  He made them invisible again, and they went to the surface.

  Epilogue

  The people of Golatha Falls never knew exactly what had happened at the house on Cr
anberry Lane, or for that matter what had happened to Anna Worthington and all her money. Luc spent weeks systematically going through the town erasing memories. But people kept talking, as people are prone to do.

  Bits of legend built up about the strange happenings at the house. Still, most remembered what they had witnessed as dreams. And if it was weird that everyone in the town seemed to have had the same dreams, no one was talking about that part. Denial is a strong survival skill.

  Bitsy and Mimi were the only two people in town who didn’t seem able to be enthralled. If anyone could resist the mind control of a formerly evil incubus it was those two stubborn old biddies. The old women spent a couple of weeks talking about being camped out on Anna’s front lawn with flashlights waiting to rescue her from the devil. Luckily, most of the people in town decided that the Baker sisters had finally hit senility, and they were shipped off to a retirement community in Florida.

  The people at the bank were probably the most confused by what had happened. They seemed to remember Anna coming in a few days before the house burned down and withdrawing all her money, but that sort of thing usually took more time. There was paperwork to go through. Paperwork which didn’t exist. But it couldn’t be denied that the money was gone, and there were no signs of a robbery.

  Anna’s anger at the harem had dissipated now that they no longer posed a threat. In hindsight, her jealousy made more sense in light of her previous life as Beatrice.

  The harem continued to work with Tam on the business. They opened a candle and occult shop next to Sally’s. The town was really freaking out over the occult part.

  Anna had a hard time maintaining anger at anyone, since her stupid spell had been the thing that started everything in the first place. Karma was seriously a bitch, and she wasn’t going to forget that lesson in the foreseeable future.

  She transferred a large sum of money to Sara Johnson. The girl was confused by the sudden increase in her account when she got out of the institution, but the letter left for her in a safe deposit box explained things. Well, most things.