Life Cycle (Preternaturals Book 4) Page 10

“Oww... Goddamnit, Tam!”

  “Hey, you’re throwing fire. What I’m throwing won’t kill you. You want to burn me alive and send me back to a lesser form. I don’t appreciate it.”

  He growled. “That’s not my intention.”

  “Or am I too much of a temptation for you? Do I have too much power in this form?”

  She dropped the straps of the dress and the material fluttered to the ground. God yes, she had too much power in this form, but he’d never say it. He stalked her and reached out to stroke her skin, glowing in the torchlight. His hand bounced off the barrier.

  Cain’s voice dropped an octave. “How can I help you if you won’t help me? I thought you wanted me to fuck you.”

  She shrugged. “It seems pointless, doesn’t it? I mean, what are the odds you’re going to kill me this time?”

  “You gotta play to win, sweetheart.”

  As soon as she dropped the shields, he backed her against the wall and ripped his pants off. “Be a good girl and wrap your legs around my waist.”

  “Good girl? You must have me confused with somebody else.”

  But she did as he requested, and he lifted her like she was nothing. As he impaled her, she let out a gasp that drew a satisfied laugh from him.

  “You really want to die and leave all this? That’s a solid death wish you’ve got there,” he said.

  “Don’t flatter yourself,” she tossed back.

  But she’d dropped her shields, all of them, and he knew the effect he was having on her. She wanted him almost as much as she wanted death. If he just held out a little longer, she’d beg him to keep her, he was sure of it.

  Chapter Seven

  Tam tried to catch her breath. He’d weakened her when he’d fed, but he hadn’t killed her. That would be too much to hope for. He seemed committed to this battle of wills. But she would win. If he thought she’d ever willingly ask another monster to keep her, he didn’t know her. And that was the point. He didn’t know her. Though he knew Jack had been her lover, the realization that she wouldn’t fall for that charming evil shit again hadn’t penetrated his massive Neanderthal ego.

  Cain wasn’t a big cuddler. After he’d finished with her, he’d left her in the cave. Another woman might have been emotionally devastated or felt horribly used, but Tam was just annoyed he was holding out. She could attempt to use magic to get what she wanted, but there was a part of her that did genuinely fear him. The only kind of magic she’d feel safe using against the demon was the kind that sealed him somewhere far away from her. And with her life span, even that wasn’t a safe bet. Curses could be broken.

  She pulled the dress on and made her way back into town. A few demons held her gaze then looked away quickly to whisper amongst themselves. She didn’t have to hear them to have some idea of what they were saying. It was such cruel irony. Every single one of them wanted her dead because they felt she was compromising Cain and their kind. If only that were the case.

  Many of them were probably old enough and strong enough to kill her, but even if she could get an accurate list of all their ages and strength levels, not one of them would double-cross Cain and get sent to the caves. He’d been pretty intense about his threat.

  His disdain for vampires ran deep. He wanted to use her in a future war with Anthony if it came to that. She had enough contacts that with her, her current coven, and the other magic users she knew, Anthony’s victory wasn’t a sure thing. In fact, between all of them, Cain’s demons, and the Cary Town wolf pack, it would be a slaughter, no matter how many vampires the king recruited to fight his battles.

  She was kidding herself if she thought Cain would put a petty vendetta against her above his personal ambitions. He had more self-control than she’d anticipated. He was a complicated demon, and getting him to kill her involved more issues than she’d wanted to admit. Plus he couldn’t stand to lose ever, for any reason. But really, were they any different? They were both ruthless in their own ways. She should have known she wouldn’t get him to snap and kill her. Damnit.

  She was lost in her own world and didn’t notice when Anna crossed her path.

  “Tam?”

  She’d been avoiding Anna because she was afraid if they spent too much time together, her friend would learn about her suicide mission. Plus, things felt distant now. Anna was so wrapped up in her new mate that things weren’t the same anymore, no matter how much they’d tried to force it or fake the easy way that had once been between them.

  “Hey,” Tam said, trying not to look guilty.

  “Where have you been? I hardly ever see you.”

  The witch shrugged. “I wander a lot. I’m pretty bored being stuck here.” That much was true. Though she suspected a big part of the boredom was depression. Why else would she have such a death wish? Even if Jack could be caught and destroyed, and the threat from her life erased, she’d hit her breaking point this time. The idea of sticking around sounded awful. She couldn’t stand admitting that the brightest spots of the past week had been in Cain’s arms. What did that say about her?

  She couldn’t allow herself to fall down that well again. He was just like Jack. He’d turn on her and everyone she loved. There were no true consequences for him outside the inconvenience of a curse here and there. No one to answer to. No laws that bound him or his power. In a way, he was worse than Jack.

  Anna stared at the dress. “Why are you wearing that?” She asked the question as if she already knew but wanted to torture out a confession.

  “Not out here in the middle of the street,” Tam hissed.

  They were still surrounded by too many demons, and she didn’t exactly want to have this conversation with an audience. She tried to grab Anna by the elbow to steer her toward her tent but her hand went through.

  “Damnit. I keep forgetting about this ghost-form thing. I’m glad you’re not really a ghost, though.”

  “Me, too. I guess I thought since I gave Luc my soul and died, that I wasn’t real or something. Now what about the dress?”

  You couldn’t sidetrack Anna.

  Tam glanced around. She wasn’t sure if the demons edged nearer in fascination over the conversation in general or due to the upcoming big reveal over why she looked like she’d joined a harem. Now that she thought about it, Cain probably had a harem. She had no delusions he was only sleeping with her, nor did she care. All she wanted was to wear him down to make him give her what she wanted—a free ticket out without unnecessary horror or trauma. She’d do anything he wanted to get that, though she wouldn’t come right out and say it. It was smart to keep a few cards close to the chest. She was sure Cain could get extremely creative if he knew she’d do anything.

  “Let’s talk in my tent where the peanut gallery can’t eavesdrop.” She had half a mind to take Anna to the caves, but it could get her friend in trouble with Cain. He might see it as undermining his authority with the demons—inviting them back to the punishment caves like it was an open house with tea and crumpets.

  “Sure, no problem. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot out here.”

  The guards each arched a brow when they got to Tam’s tent. She hadn’t given them a backward glance when she’d left. They’d probably been waiting hours for her return so they could sneer and smirk at her.

  “What are you? Twelve?” she asked. “Grow up.” In point of fact, she probably was much older than her demon guards.

  She motioned her friend into the tent. Once inside, Anna crossed her arms over her chest, her suspicion growing, waiting to explode like fireworks. They weren’t going to be able to escape the elephant. “In the entire time I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you in a dress. Especially not one like this.”

  “You’ve only known me a couple of decades. I used to wear dresses all the time. It used to be the only fashion option for women before they got all liberated. I just went for a change of pace this cycle. It’s no big deal. Besides, I don’t exactly have a washing machine here, do I? I’m not allowed to leave the dim
ension. Do you think I’m going to go scrub my clothes on a rock in the stream?”

  Tam wouldn’t be out of clean clothes for another week or so, but it might come to that. She shuddered at the idea. Nothing sounded less appealing than her boobs falling out of one of these dresses as she bent over a rock in the stream while angry demons loitered, making snide remarks. If that happened, Cain couldn’t hold her responsible for what she might do to them.

  Anna didn’t seem convinced. “You’re sleeping with him, aren’t you?”

  “What? He tried to kill you. What kind of friend do you think I am?” It was a fantastic question, actually.

  “That was going to be my next point. Just don’t lie to me again.”

  Tam became fascinated with the embroidery on a pillow. “I’m sorry. I could have told you about the cycling thing, but I was so used to keeping my secret. The last person I told was Henry, and that was a few centuries ago. And it was less telling him than explaining to him what he’d just seen when a woman he’d befriended died and came back to life younger.”

  Technically that priest vampire a few decades ago and his insane sire fell into that category as well, but it wasn’t like they’d had a sit-down about it or anything. Certainly not the kind of heart-to-heart she’d had with Henry, or the kind Anna was hurt she hadn’t gotten.

  Anna reached out to put a hand on Tam’s shoulder. When it passed through, she cursed. “Just tell me the truth. I won’t judge.”

  “Okay. I’m sleeping with him.”

  “What?! How could you sleep with him? He’s a demon, a monster—”

  “Good job not judging,” Tam said, though it was hard to get mad at Anna’s theatrics. She was used to them by now, and they could be somewhat entertaining. Even with her memories of her previous lives, she’d remained Anna, clinging to her most recent incarnation as who she was.

  “I was waiting for you to reassure me I was wrong. I didn’t think you’d sleep with Cain. Holy God. Of all the monsters to go to bed with.”

  Now Tam was mad. Anna had slept with Luc. Wasn’t he a monster? Hadn’t he killed humans on a routine basis for centuries before he’d hooked up with her? Was he not a demon as well? The hypocrisy was so grating, it pushed Tam to drop another bomb.

  “I also slept with Jack.”

  Pin-drop silence. Maybe someone had sat on a remote control and hit the mute button, but finally Anna spoke, destroying that theory.

  “As in... the Ripper? As in, the guy we’re trying to find to kill right now? Mr. All-powerful Crazy Magic Man who is killing everybody in the original coven, with you on the hit list? The guy who wants to expose us all and bring destruction upon the whole planet? That Jack?”

  Tam shrugged. “He was our leader, and he wasn’t always like this. We had a really long relationship before he turned so dark I couldn’t ignore it anymore. And if I hadn’t slept with Jack, you and I never would have met. Do you think he would have saved me for last if he and I hadn’t been lovers for so long?”

  She was dropping a lot of revelations on Anna, things her friend couldn’t be expected to jump on board with. Especially the Cain thing. Sleeping with him was a betrayal of their friendship after what he’d done to Anna, but it wasn’t like Tam was doing it because she was into him. But explaining that would only make the situation worse.

  “You can’t sleep with Cain. He’s dangerous. He’s not like Luc. Do you have him under a spell or something?”

  “No, of course not.”

  “Maybe you should. For your own safety.”

  Tam didn’t have the heart to tell her how badly such a spell would backfire and move her further from her goal.

  “Considering how using magic ended for you, I can’t believe you’d say that. You want me to end up mated to him?”

  Anna made a face. “Of course not. He hasn’t even put a mark of protection on you. If he’s supposed to be protecting you, why hasn’t he done that?”

  “It wouldn’t work against Jack, and the demons are afraid to defy him. Nobody thinks killing me is worth an indeterminate amount of time locked in the caves. Trust me. It’s hard to hate somebody that much.”

  Anna didn’t seem to know about the caves, if the look of confusion on her face was any indication. Luc probably hadn’t thought to mention them yet.

  “I don’t know why you’re sleeping with him, and I don’t even want to think about it. It’s icky. But you have to stop. He’ll kill you.”

  Tam snorted. “Not at the rate he’s going, he won’t.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “Nothing. Just forget it.”

  Anna’s eyes widened. “You want him to kill you. Why? We’ll find Jack. You’re safe here. You don’t have to sacrifice yourself. God, Tam. Nobody likes a martyr.”

  Tam dropped onto the couch, feeling suddenly drained. “Try to imagine dying—but not really dying—and being a kid again. Try to imagine having your mental and emotional sexual development all set, but having to be celibate for several years until you can find someone to scratch your itches again—until you look like an adult again. Try to imagine having to move every time it happens, or if your friends start aging but you aren’t aging fast enough. Sure, I’ve had witch friends, but I’ve had to keep them all at arm’s length to keep my secret, and eventually I have to leave them as well because even they would figure out something about me was different. You were the first regular person I’d let into my life for a long time. And it was only because I knew Henry was getting older and I’d be alone again.”

  “But, it’s not like that now,” Anna said. “You’ve got immortal friends. You don’t have to keep losing everybody... and I mean, sure the celibacy thing is a little annoying, but...”

  “You’re not listening to me. I’m tired of this. I don’t want to live this way any longer. It’s unnatural. It makes me feel out of sync with everyone and everything. With the other cyclers mostly gone, I’m a freak. I don’t want to be a freak anymore, Anna. I want to have a tribe of others like me, however I might be. Can’t you understand that? I’ll reincarnate. I’m sure I’ll keep some memories. We’ll find each other.” She wasn’t about to mention the other dimension thing.

  “I need some air. I’ll get Luc to come by and grab your clothes. We’ll take them to your house and wash them for you.”

  “Thanks,” Tam said, but the word came out forced. A couple of years ago, Anna wouldn’t have given up on her so easily. Things were so different between them it made her heart hurt. Anna was with Luc and a part of this new demon world now, not Tam’s anymore. She was really alone now.

  ***

  Cain tromped through the streets of Cary Town. It had taken a lot of threatening to get one of Anthony’s guardians to tell him where Dayne Wickham’s cottage was. He’d never gone to a magic user for anything, he didn’t trust them, but it was beginning to feel more dangerous to sleep with Tam without giving into her death wish.

  Even with her books locked away, she could still create a chant to curse him. Hell, she may already have. He thought about her far too much. He’d been sure she’d be out of his system in a week—like the flu. By that time, he’d come to his senses and not try to hold on. Just because she was two thousand and understood what it was to be in the same form for so long didn’t mean he’d make her his mate. He’d never take a mate.

  Was he keeping her on reserve for if he became bored enough to settle down in another thousand years? Wasn’t he the one who’d ensured all books referencing demon mating in his dimension had been destroyed? Hadn’t he discouraged his demons from enslaving themselves like that? Caring about anybody but yourself was a curse. It made you weak, vulnerable. It made you do stupid things to destroy your life.

  He’d tried to kill Anna to save Luc from such a fate, but she’d gone through with the mating ritual at the last minute because she couldn’t bear to be separated from him. Now Cain had to watch them make googly eyes at each other all the time, both of them looking so happy and at peace w
ith the world. Surely that would wear off at some point, and then they’d be miserable but tied to each other for eternity.

  The demon growled. He wasn’t about to let some wisp of a girl come along and seduce him away from his freedom like that. Certainly not a witch. They were too dangerous, which was why he had to be smarter. He should have sought magical protection after the first time he’d spared her. If her death wish was this strong, she’d use magic to control him if she got angry enough. He knew how that went.

  There was no way for an incubus to protect himself wholesale against all magic or magic users. The man upstairs had made sure of that, wanting to limit and restrict demon powers. But with a personal object from a specific witch, he could gain temporary protection with the help of a strong magic user. It would be enough to buy him some time.

  Dayne fit that bill, and Cain had a pair of Tam’s panties in his pocket to seal the spell. She’d left them in the caves. What else was he going to unobtrusively take without her notice? They were ripped, anyway. It wasn’t as if she’d miss them.

  On his way to the forest, he caught a pretty blonde’s eye. She smiled at him, then blushed and turned away. Yes, he’d just fed from Tam, but not fully. He was pulling his punches now that he couldn’t decide if he wanted to kill her. He didn’t want to kill the witch by accident until he was sure.

  He strode across the street to the woman, demon swagger fully engaged. “Hello.”

  The sunlight glistened off her hair. She looked a bit like Tam, except her hair was longer. Goddamnit. Stop that! Stop comparing her. If he couldn’t stop thinking about the bane of his existence when he was about to catch another meal, he was truly lost. Tam wasn’t his. She wasn’t going to be his. He didn’t know what the hell she was, but the only way out was to sleep with as many women as possible until he could do it without distraction, until he could enjoy being a demon again. This interest he’d taken in the witch was unnatural.

  The woman gave him another of those shy smiles, unaware of the conflicted emotions going through his head. “Hi.”